The main emotion that my clients are experiencing when they seek out coaching is crippling fear. Their main concern is their gay or transgender child’s safety. The thoughts that are causing them to fear for their child often involve how hard the world will be for their kids, worry about bullying and even worrying about whether they will be killed because of who they are.
They worry about the future to the point that it eats up all the joy that they could be experiencing in this moment, right now. When they are experiencing a celebration, fear interrupts to remind them to stay on their guard.
One of my clients lives their life as if they are standing in front of the cave with a spear, constantly scanning for threats to their family. They want to protect their trans child, and think that if they are constantly in fear mode scanning for trouble, this will somehow help them prepare for the worst. They won’t be surprised when disaster hits because they have been looking out for it.
But what if the way to a full life was the ability to acknowledge a fear, and yet not be consumed by it. In essence just taking fear along for the ride as we live a full and happy life. Because we are not fearing a specific thing happening. What we fear is how we will feel if that horrible “what if” actually occurs.
Let me say that again because it can be challenging to grasp and even harder to wrap your brain around if you are in the midst of a fear episode. What you fear is not that something terrible will happen. It is how you will feel if something terrible happens. You may need to sit with that thought for a bit.
You are not fearing an event. You are fearing a feeling. If you want to explore exactly what that means in your life and how to fight the fear for good, sign up for a discovery call.
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